Beanie: Thrifted, Sunglasses: Captain's Helm, Shirt: c/o Choies, Bralette: Urban Outfitters, Belt and Shorts: Vintage
It's usually the case that the only antidote to instantly recover from this torture is the loving reassurance from the person who has caused this shit in the first place. But thankfully (because sometimes it really does need to be over), that doesn't always happen and you are left to climb yourself out of the dumps all on your own. There are no words that will actually make that struggle disappear, but being a seasoned expert on relationship woes, I'm a little surprised that I haven't shared any of this yet.
Based on my own experiences, here are a few things that I try to remember:
Number One: It gets better. There is no possible way for you to believe this on your own when you're locked inside the shit-hole breakup garbage disposal. It seems completely unfathomable that you will ever be the same again, I know. But since you don't trust yourself, trust me; you WILL be okay. And it will get better.
Number Two: Do whatever it is that makes you feel better, as long as it's not destructive. People are always like: Stay busy, workout, be active, meditate, don't drink, don't get involved with anyone else right now, etc. etc. etc. Easier said than done. In the initial stages of the grieving process, being "active" sounds just as doable as giving birth to a chair. Impossible, right? If you want to drink a bottle and a half of wine all by yourself, do it. (Just put away your phone and your car keys). If you want to eat an entire pizza, do it. If you want to go on a date, DO IT. Spoil yourself. Enjoy the things that you are actually able to enjoy during a time like this. Just be careful of your own weaknesses and the temptation to mask one problem with another. I make these suggestions assuming that you aren't an alcoholic, don't have an eating disorder, body image issues, self-esteem issues, etc. These might only make your problem worse in that case. Just don't go play with fire with a book of matches glued to your forehead.
Number Three: Ignore books like "The Rules" and "Why Men Love Bitches." Books like these advocate a very obvious form of game-playing and cat-and-mouse type dating. Sure, men and women all love "the chase" and a lot of the tactics used in these books really do work. I can't lie about that. But the reasons why they work aren't the same reasons why you will fall head over heels, bat shit crazy in love with someone. Following these rules might very well prolong the interest of someone who might not have been genuinely interested in the first place, by deliberately messing with their psyche. However, if I had to guess, most of us want that sappy, whirlwind romance that we all hear about from time to time. This perfect, unadulterated love comes from being vulnerable, open and honest. [Side note: You also should know when to pick up on clear signs that the other person isn't into it, and count on that to happen. It means nothing about you or your worthiness. I repeat: It means NOTHING about you or your worthiness.] Be nothing other than yourself and don't be afraid to let someone in to your heart. You won't get it right on the first time or even the second time. But when you do, it's fucking glorious.
These are all extremely simplified suggestions to a much more complex issue but I whole-heartedly believe them to be applicable to pretty much anyone. Considering that I'm usually the pseudo-therapist friend to the women mentioned above, I felt it mandatory to share this here. Who knows how many other bazillion women are going through this exact thing. If you want to ask me anything else about this topic, I'd be happy to lend a virtual ear if I can - feel free to type me on Formspring.